Day 22

Time to think

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Hello everyone, or good evening?

So, the art fair I attended was successful, and I could meet many good people and customers. I will try to make it useful for this experience and move on to the next one!

Today, I would like to write about life after studying abroad in the U.S. There were many things that happened to me, and I would like to try to recall the memory and write them out here to remind myself what I learned from them. And I hope you will get something from them as well.

【 The change of mind process 】

After studying abroad, I went back to the Japanese school to restart high school education.

The high school I was in was not allowed to skip the year, so I needed to go back to the year I left, which means I needed to study with students who were one year younger than I was.

On the first day of school, I was supposed to give a greeting to all the teachers in the morning, but I didn’t know about it... I arrived at the school later than they expected me to arrive, and my new home teacher was angry at me for missing the greeting...

I remember that I told her “Sorry! It’s nice to meet you again!” As I was unconcerned and not caring much about other people’s problems. She was very upset at that time, but I realised at the end of the high school year that she was the one who kindly supported me to go to the U.K.

Speaking of which, In the new class, I remember I was a bit awkward that I felt I was out of place.. Just because I was very outgoing, Americanised, and confident. Everyone in the class seemed scared speaking to me.

However, I tried to communicate with them by behaving very cheerfully and fun because I wanted to spend my school life with joy unlike when I was in middle school. I guess people who I met during high school life have an impression of me as very cheerful, having strong opinions, and justified too much. Maybe it was too much...as I recalled it now...

Although, I wasn’t always like that at that time. I tended to experience emptiness and anxiety when I suddenly become too realistic about the things around me. That is because, I guess, my confidence was so relaying on the status that I went to study abroad in the U.S, and that was not the right way of being proud.

So, I tended to be anxious when I thought about the future whereas I tended to be depressed when I thought about the past. I couldn’t look at the present at that time. Maybe I was thinking too much that made me crazy lol

But yet, I started thinking about what kind of human do I want to become, and how do I want to live my life as I had plenty of time to think during high school life.

That’s all for today!

In the next blog, I would like to write about how I started thinking about “humanity” during that time.

Thank you for reading until the end every time!

Hope you have a good week and see you next Wednesday!