Hello everyone, or good evening?
It’s been suddenly very cold in Japan, and it’s too cold that I can’t get out of my bed easily… So, I’m trying to think about good things happening on the next day before going to sleep.. so that I can wake up with excitement..? That’s just my weird way… lol
Ok, in this blog, I will write about what I was thinking and feeling when I was in the Japanese high school after studying abroad!
【 Imperfect 】
After a few weeks, in the new class with new classmates who were one year younger than me, I got used to high school life in Japan.
Around that time, I was very confident in myself. … no.
I was more like trying to put the confidence in myself forcibly.
I was trying to encourage myself like “I can do it… I can... I should.”
People used to say to me that
“You can do anything because you went to study abroad by yourself!”.
To be honest, I wasn’t the one that they were expecting.
I was facing so many things that I can’t do, and I was trying to hide the fact, that I can’t do, by showing me as a confident person.
I guess my English wasn’t perfect at all, and my studying abroad friends were much better at speaking English.
Moreover, I wasn’t really good at studying either, so that I tried to hide it by studying so hard, like harder than anyone else. ( more like... I was always thinking about how to studying efficiently so that I don’t need to study all the time.. lol )
I remember that I was studying English much more than before going to studying abroad.
When I was in middle school, I was facing a relationship with the people around me.
However, in high school, I was facing something like a conflict in myself.
I could see all the things that I can’t do but others can in school life, and it was painful and cruel. But I guess everyone had experienced a similar thing.
It sometimes crushed me so hard that I was almost corrupting, but I couldn’t fall completely because of people who supported me in studying abroad. I used to remember them when something hard happened.
They were expecting me a lot, and I know they were. They are now as well.
It was a good pressure for me to keep me stepping forward, not falling down.
Now, I feel that I am here because of them, their expectation, and the pressure.
Ok, that’s all for today!
In the next blog, I will try to recall the time in high school more and write them here!
Thank you for reading until the end every time!
Hope you have a good day!