Day 26

Fill in

a hole to fill2_アートボード 1.png

Hello everyone, or good evening?

It’s been suddenly very cold in Japan, and it’s too cold that I can’t get out of my bed easily… So, I’m trying to think about good things happening on the next day before going to sleep.. so that I can wake up with excitement..? That’s just my weird way… lol

Ok, in this blog, I will write about what I was thinking and feeling when I was in the Japanese high school after studying abroad!

【 Imperfect 】

After a few weeks, in the new class with new classmates who were one year younger than me, I got used to high school life in Japan.

Around that time, I was very confident in myself. … no.

I was more like trying to put the confidence in myself forcibly.

I was trying to encourage myself like “I can do it… I can... I should.”

People used to say to me that

“You can do anything because you went to study abroad by yourself!”.

To be honest, I wasn’t the one that they were expecting.

I was facing so many things that I can’t do, and I was trying to hide the fact, that I can’t do, by showing me as a confident person.

I guess my English wasn’t perfect at all, and my studying abroad friends were much better at speaking English.

Moreover, I wasn’t really good at studying either, so that I tried to hide it by studying so hard, like harder than anyone else. ( more like... I was always thinking about how to studying efficiently so that I don’t need to study all the time.. lol )

I remember that I was studying English much more than before going to studying abroad.

When I was in middle school, I was facing a relationship with the people around me.

However, in high school, I was facing something like a conflict in myself.

I could see all the things that I can’t do but others can in school life, and it was painful and cruel. But I guess everyone had experienced a similar thing.

It sometimes crushed me so hard that I was almost corrupting, but I couldn’t fall completely because of people who supported me in studying abroad. I used to remember them when something hard happened.

They were expecting me a lot, and I know they were. They are now as well.

It was a good pressure for me to keep me stepping forward, not falling down.

Now, I feel that I am here because of them, their expectation, and the pressure.

Ok, that’s all for today!

In the next blog, I will try to recall the time in high school more and write them here!

Thank you for reading until the end every time!

Hope you have a good day!